All My Samurais
by Hotarulover
Summary: A parody of SDK set up as a cheap soap opera! Enjoy the goodness and flavor! co-writen by Kayka-chan
1. Episode 1: That New Chick in Town

**Kayka-chan: Okay! I advertised this fic in my other story before and now we (Hotarulover and myself) have finally gotten around to working on it! This is a fic making fun of how dramatic SDK is. No offence is intended because it's just fun! It's set in the modern dayness!**

**Have fun while reading the very short first chapter!**

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_All My Samurais_

Episode 1: That New Chick in Town

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Yuya Shiina walked through the streets of the town of Mibu, carrying her only possessions in a fairly large and heavy box. Her gun bounced against her butt every step she took. She casted glances around her most recent residence and then repositioned the box so that she held onto it better.

_Mibu, huh? Well, brother, this is it._Yuya thought to herself as she walked up the stairs to her apartment building and knocked on the door with her foot. It left a mud streak across the glass and a person peeked around the corner, frowning at said streak. He walked forward and pushed the door open, holding it for her. He had dark hair with one strand that was longer than all the others and curled slightly at the top. His black eyes were captivating, but Yuya felt somewhat wary of him.

"Thank you." She breathed at him while she re-situated her box again. He smiled at her.

"No problem. I'm Kyoshiro. I live here, too." He explained to her. She nodded and trudged up the stairs. He followed her, talking the whole way. "I'm a Doctor down at the clinic, so if you're ever, you know, mortally wounded, come see me! Oh, and I don't have the spirit of a killer trapped in my body that sometimes comes out as a weird split personality. Could I try to rape you perhaps?"

Yuya froze and looked at him. "What?" she said.

"Surprise!" Kyoshiro cried as he lunged at her. Yuya cried out and dropped her box, reaching behind her and pulling out her gun which she trained onto his forehead.

"What the hell was that?" She yelled at him. He looked at her.

"Um… You… weren't seducing me?" he said ineptly. Yuya cocked her eyebrow and blinked at him.

"No."

"Oh. Well. This is awkward."

"Hm."

"So… You're new here?"

"Yes."

"Sweetcakes! What brings you to Mibu?"

Yuya glared at him. She was so tempted to pull the trigger and put an end to her misery. She didn't though. She pointed it right next to his head and fired. The bullet grazed past pieces of hair as it passed and Kyoshiro gulped, throwing his head to the side. A hole appeared in the wall.

"Nothing, really, I just wanted a change of scenery." She answered him smartly as she bent down and picked up her fallen box before she turned back to the door to her new room and finished twisting the key. She twisted the knob and bumped it open with her rear.

"Do you want me to come in and help you unpack?" Kyoshiro asked her innocently. Yuya turned and looked at him.

"No." She said shortly and slammed the door. Yuya walked over to the already supplied kitchen table and set her box on it. She had heard that this town had a problem with gangs and thugs but she didn't think that she would live next to one.

_God dammit. It's just my luck, isn't it brother?_

But it was okay, because this was only temporary. Soon she would have revenge. Revenge on the evil, evil being who murdered her brother.

SHE WOULD KILL THE ALIEN!!

She laughed evilly and quite insanely before sighing and falling asleep on the dusty couch.

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**Review please!**


	2. Episode 2: Seemingly Harmless

**Kayka-chan:** **Okay here's the new chapter**

**Hotarulover: This is the first thing I've written on here so don't kill me.**

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Episode 2

Seemingly Harmless

Yuya awoke in a daze. She looked around her bare, new apartment. I really need furniture. She walked out of her apartment in the same outfit she had worn for god knows how long and has never washed. Yuya spotted movement out of the corner of her eye and swung her gun around to meet the threat.

"Woah! Hold on a minute!" Kyoshiro yelled while he stood in a rather strange position the resembled a monkey.

Yuya glared but lowered her gun nonetheless. "What?" she asked with a clipped tone.

"I happen to be looking out my door at the exact same time as you came out and thought that I would offer to come with you even though I have no clue where you are going."

Yuya's conscience told her that it was a bad idea, but like most heroin, she ignored it. "Fine."

Kyoshiro's eyes sparkled with delight as he followed her out of the building. The pair of them walked down the street in a random direction while tossing wary looks at each other.

"So, where are you from?" Yuya asked in an attempt to make conversation.

"Once upon a time!" Kyoshiro began. "There was a man who killed a thousand people. This man who had killed a thousand people was a samurai who killed a thousand people. Many people other than the thousand people he killed were very afraid of him, and the others were envious of this man who killed a thousand people."

"I didn't ask..."

"The man that killed a thousand people was named Demon Eyes Kyo. And Kyo killed a thousand people. That is the story of Demon Eyes Kyo, the man that killed a thousand people."

"What was the point of that?" Yuya was very confused.

"What? Of course I don't have the soul of Demon Eyes Kyo, the man that killed a thousand people, in my body! That's just silly."

"Ooooookaaaaay."

Kyoshiro began to whistle and Yuya fell silent. After fifteen minutes of him whistling the same tune, Yuya was desperate for him to stop.

"Do you have an idea of a place where I could buy furniture?" Yuya finally asked.

"Like a bed?" Kyoshiro's interest was peeked.

"Yes"

"You do want me!" Kyoshiro cried while leaping on top of Yuya.

"No!"

There was a battle of wills while Yuya tried to shove a heavy Kyoshiro off of her. Yuya landed a strangely strong punch for a girl that sent him flying into a wall. Out of nowhere Kyoshiro was tied up and being dragged down the street by Yuya.

"So you don't want me?" He asked disheartened.

"No."

"Will I be invited into the bed?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Fine." Kyoshiro said, as he was drug down the street while pouting.

"So do you?" Yuya asked in irritation.

"Well, there's a town down there. Although I have never seen anyone come back out I'm sure that it's perfectly safe."

They made their way out of the city and into the small town. The streets were bare and they saw no people. Suddenly Kyoshiro was untied and walking beside her. They walked a little further down the road while the tension grew in the air.

The turned the corner and there in an alley were dozens of dead bodies with crows pecking at them.

Kyoshiro shrieked like a small animal being tortured by an old woman playing bagpipes.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THEY'RE DEAD! AS IN NO LONGER ALIVE! AS IN THEY AREN'T BREATHING! AS IN THERE IS NO BREATHE IN THEY'RE LUNGS!"

"That's true. And although this is a clear warning that we should run away, I think we should stay anyways."

Suddenly they were surrounded! Horrible goblins with weapons that seemed to be from another world were attacking them.

"Wow! I sure didn't see this coming!" Yuya yelled as she blocked an attack.

"Yes. And although I am a measly chemist, I shall dodge these attacks with the skills of a pro!" Kyoshiro called as he skillfully avoided the attacks.

The goblins kept on coming. No matter how many times they avoided an attack, there was always another goblin trying to bash in their heads. After this had been going on for quite some time, the goblins found an opening.

Kyoshiro screamed bloody murder as an incredibly ugly goblin swung a clever down to meet his head. The world went black, and he faded into the rainbow of wonder.

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**Hotarulover: Review Please!**


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